Chapter 7 - Through the Window

The boys were pleased to see old Skittlechip walk around the corner. After their tussle with the ever-stodgy Mitch, the fun-loving Skittlechip was a welcome relief. As he plodded down the hallway, Skittlechip winked at the boys and in a hoarse whisper said, “Follow me, boys. We’ve got better things to do than wait for a girl to change ‘er clothes!” The boys followed without a word.

Skittlechip and his wife Doris were loved by everyone in the castle. He had been a prisoner for seven years under the wicked reign of then-King Slumbutter. Separated from his beloved wife (who had been forced to work as slave in Slumbutter’s kitchen), Skittlechip had nearly given up hope when King Maximilian arrived to liberate the kingdom four years ago. After he’d been set free, he and Doris put together every spare penny they had and bought a lamb. Then, to display their gratitude to the king, they had made a large pot of lamb stew and brought it to the king. The king had been so moved by the sacrificial gift that he made Skittlechip and Doris his royal chefs.

Soon the boys entered Skittlechip’s kitchen. It was a complete disaster. Cooking implements lay everywhere, and crumbs of various sorts were scattered all over the floor. “We’ve gotta get Butch in here,” muttered Skittlechip, referring to his pet dog. “He does a whole lot better job at picking up scraps than my broom does, plus it keeps me from having to bend over.”

Andres couldn’t help but laugh. Skittlechip’s belly protruded nearly a foot from his chest. Andres knew that if he ever bent over without bending his knees, he might never get up again. Skittlechip saw Andres chuckle, and he turned and said, “What’s so funny, yer little whelp? D’ya think I’m pudgy or something? I’ll have you know that when I was your age, I...well, I...well, I guess I was just as pudgy as I am today!” Then Skittlechip burst into a deep belly-laugh that caused his whole upper body to jiggle like a bag of jelly in an earthquake. He was one of those refreshing sorts of people that are genuinely able to laugh at themselves.

The next words Andres heard were, “Heads up, mate!” Andres looked up and saw a rolling pin catapulting toward his head. He quickly grabbed it with his right hand. Skittlechip smiled mischievously as he hurled another rolling pin toward Cable. Cable instinctively ducked, then grabbed the pin as it whizzed by overhead. Both boys gave a quizzical look at the odd cook.

But Skittlechip never saw the boys’ expressions, because he turned his back and grabbed two large black skillets. Without looking, he tossed them backwards toward the boys as well. “Grab these too, you chuckleheads!” he bellowed. Cable deftly grabbed his skillet by the handle. Andres, on the other hand, swung his rolling pin at the skillet and struck it like a bat hitting a ball. A great CLANG resulted, causing all three to drop everything and cover their ears. Skittlechip nearly went cross-eyed at the noise.

“What did you do that for, Andres?” asked Cable, shaking his head?

“I don’t know,” replied Andres. “What in the world are you supposed to do when a skillet comes flying toward your head? Kiss it?” Andres didn’t think that his reaction had been all that irrational at all.

The boys almost got into an argument, but Skittlechip quickly intervened. “It’s about time you boys did a little kitchen dueling!” he said. “Grab your rolling pins--those are your swords! And grab your skillets--those are you shields! Now go to it!”

Andres looked at Skittlechip as though the cook had grown a second head. He shook his head, figuring that he couldn’t have possibly heard Skittlechip correctly. Finally, he blurted out, “Are you crazy? Cable and I have been dueling all day. I’m sick of it! I always lose! The last thing in the world I want to do is more dueling! I’d rather...well, I’d rather dance with a dumb girl at this big banquet than do more dueling.”

Skittlechip just smiled--he was always smiling--and said, “Well, now that you mention it, I guess you are right: I am crazy! I appreciate your asking, though of course you already knew that. But you see, I was trying out a new recipe for chocolate brownies this morning, and I need someone to give them a try. The winner of the duel gets the first brownie. So en garde! Fight!”

This was all Andres needed to spur him on. Nobody made brownies like Skittlechip, and no one loved brownies like Andres. The boy fell to fighting with a vengeance.

As for Cable, he didn’t have much of a sweet tooth. He didn’t fight for the brownie; fighting for his own pride was sufficient motivation. Cable quickly gained his feet and parried aside Andres’ initial thrust. The duel was on.

According to the usual pattern, Andres came on strong initially, while Cable held back. Andres continued to attack, yet he grew frustrated by Cable’s seemingly impregnable defense. He switched from right-handed to left-handed; he snuck around kitchen counters and tried to attack from behind; he leapt up onto a bench and tried to attack from up high. Nothing seemed to work. Cable looked at his adversary and could sense impatience. He got ready to move in for the kill.

Just then, a mouse scurried across the floor. Mice weren’t all that uncommon in Skittlechip’s kitchen. There were always lots of treats lying on the floor. But Cable hated mice, and the furry little creature darting across his feet distracted him. Just as he raised his foot to stomp on the creature, he felt a rolling pin being gently thrust into his gut.

Andres had won. The split-second diversion had been all he’d needed to gain his first victory of the day.

Andres threw the rolling pin and skillet into the air. As they clanked to the floor, he leaped in the air and shouted with joy. “I won! I finally won!” he cried out at the top of his lungs. “I can’t believe it! I finally beat Cable!” He danced around the kitchen in sheer ecstasy, raising his hands in the air. Victory is sweet when one has only tasted defeat for so long. He even forgot about the brownie for a moment.

Cable gently put his rolling pin and skillet down. He grimaced a bit and shook his head. Of course, he couldn’t help but be somewhat happy for his little brother. But he also couldn’t help but feel disappointed. Cable was a competitor, and he hated losing. He’d been learning over the past few years how to be a graceful loser, but he didn’t figure he’d ever be a happy loser.

Suddenly, the sound of a bell was heard. Skittlechip spoke up and said, “I hate to interrupt your celebration, Master Andres. But the banquet begins in fifteen minutes. It’s probably about time to get ready, wouldn’t you think?”

Andres immediately stopped his victory lap around the kitchen, and the smile instantaneously disappeared from his face. “Oh no, Mitch is gonna KILL us if we’re late!” he cried out in desperation. He ran out of the kitchen with all haste and sprinted back toward the bedroom.

Cable yelled out after Andres, “I’ll be right there!” Time just wasn’t much of a big deal to Cable. Besides, he had to find that dumb mouse and put an end to its miserable life.

When Andres arrived at his room, he found that the door was still closed. He bellowed, “Remma, aren’t you done yet?” Hearing no reply, he determined that--one way or another--he was going to get into that room. He backed up to the other side of the hallway and, with grim determination painted all over his face, he charged at the door. He lowered his shoulder and prepared to barge his way into the room.

Too late, Andres realized the door wasn’t even closed. He plowed through the entryway and landed face-down on the floor. He immediately looked around to see if anyone had observed his face-plant. Seeing no one, he quickly got to his feet and dusted himself off.

Now Andres, who was a very observant boy, noticed three things that were out of place. First of all, he noticed Remma’s old clothes lying on the floor. It wasn’t that Andres minded the mess; it was just that Remma never just left clothes lying around. She was quite meticulous about keeping her things picked up. Second, he noticed the silence (which is something that boys don’t often notice, or even appreciate). Usually when Andres entered a room which was occupied by Remma, he had to brace himself for a tongue-lashing of some sort. But this time there was nothing. Third, he noticed the back window was open. Remma never left the window open when she was getting dressed, because she didn’t want the wind to mess up her hair.

These three observations immediately caught Andres’ attention and put him on guard. He walked quietly over to the window. His first instinct was to seek reinforcements, so he called out, “Cable, are you here yet?”

But the words had barely escaped his mouth when Andres felt someone grab him from behind. Before he could turn around and see who it was, a hood was thrust over his head and quickly tied down. Andres struggled in an attempt to resist, but he was unable to see a thing. So his efforts were futile. Soon his hands and feet were bound. Once that was done, he felt some hands grab him and lift him from the ground. He then felt himself being tossed away.

Andres expected to feel the floor, but he didn’t. That was when he realized he’d been tossed out the window. As he hurtled toward the ground below, three thoughts crossed his mind. The first was that this could be the end. The second was that his sister Remma wasn’t all that bad after all.

And the third was that he’d forgotten all about the brownie.