Chapter 30 - Meandering through the Dungeon

When we last left Andres, he and Gregorex had just slipped out of their prison cell and were determined to make their escape. Gregorex led the way as they quietly walked down the dark hallway. However, nagging question came into Andres’ head that he just couldn’t answer himself. Impulsively he reached out, grabbed Gregorex’ robe, and asked, “Do you have any idea how to get out of here?”

Gregorex turned and glared at Andres’. Of course, though he tried to look very stern and irritated, it made no difference to Andres, since it was too dark for Andres to see his expression. After a few seconds, Gregorex realized the futility of communicating with his stare. Instead, he whispered in the most sarcastic voice he could muster, “Oh yes, of course I know how to get out of here! I go for walks daily through these lovely hallways. Sometimes Dor-ko invites me up for supper, and we walk hand-in-hand through the castle, and he tells me all of the escape routes that I am welcome to take if I ever want to leave. So yes, of course, I know just where to go!”

Andres just shook his head and muttered, “All right, all right. It was a dumb question.” Then, not wanting to aggravate Gregorex any further, he just remained silent. They continued their stealthy walk down the hallway.

After a few moments, Gregorex reached behind and grabbed Andres, holding him still. It was evident that they were about to reach another hallway that ran perpendicular. As Andres stood and stared, he noticed two things. First, he saw that the crossing hallway was dimly lit; evidently, there were some torches hanging from the walls. This gave him a measure of good cheer, since Andres hated the dark. But the second thing he observed completely canceled out this good cheer. He heard slow footsteps. This meant that someone, probably a guard, was roaming the hallways. Andres feared that their escape would be cut short before it even began.

But Gregorex was not to be deterred. He turned back toward Andres, put his mouth to Andres’ ear, and whispered, “Get down and follow me.” He then pulled Andres down to the floor. The floor was damp and musty, and Andres just knew that a rat was going to run over him at any moment. But when Andres noticed Gregorex crawling forward toward the opening to the cross-hallway, he put his fears aside and followed.

After about five minutes of slow crawling, the hallway came into view. As it turned out, there were actually two guards in the hallway, and they slowly marched back and forth. They appeared to pay no attention at all to the completely dark hallway from which Andres and Gregorex had come. As Andres stared, his eyes adjusted and he could see fairly clearly. The cross-hallway was about 20 yards long. There appeared to be many cells in this hallway, for he could see several locked doors. The guards were of average height, but they were extremely stout. They paced up and down the hallway, with a spear in their left hand while the other hand remained free. The two guards observed a very strange ritual as they marched. They would begin at opposite ends of the hallway, staring at the wall, facing in opposite directions. Then they would do an about-face and begin slowly marching toward each other. Oddly enough, when they met each other at the halfway point, they draw back their fists and slug each other--sometimes in the guts, sometimes in the chest, sometimes in the jaw, and sometimes in the side of the head. But after throwing their one punch, without missing a step and without saying a word, they would continue to march. Once they reached the end of the hallway, they would cough and gag and spit and grumble for a few seconds as they recovered from the blow. Then they would straighten out their garments, do an about face, and repeat the bizarre ritual.

Gregorex and Andres lay on the floor, watching in wonder as they observed the guards march back and forth. Andres moved forward slightly so that he could speak to Gregorex. “How do you suppose we get past these guys?” he whispered into Gregorex’ ear. Andres thought it was a whisper, anyway.

At the sound of Andres’ voice, Gregorex’ entire body lifted about an inch off the floor. He whipped his head around and stared at Andres in shock. Then, grabbing Andres’ head and pulling it by his ear, he said, “Didn’t your mama ever teach you how to whisper? A doggone prisoner smashing rocks with a sledgehammer would make less noise than your confounded whisper!” In his fury, Gregorex didn’t realize that his whisper wasn’t exactly silent, either.

But it didn’t matter. The guards were oblivious to any observers. They just continued to march up and down the hallway, dealing each other brutal blows as they went. They never seemed to tire of it. Andres figured that if you worked in a dungeon, any kind of entertainment--even slugging each other--was better than just sitting and being bored.

After watching the guards for about 15 minutes, Gregorex turned and whispered once more in Andres’ ear. “Stay here and watch,” he said. “I’m moving in.” Andres was too unnerved to say anything. He knew that, at this point, his life rested in Gregorex’ hands. He waited and watched breathlessly.

Gregorex paused for a few more seconds, until the guards met and punched each other in the stomach. Then, as one of the guards passed by in front of him, he silently rose to his feet and followed. Since the other guard was facing the opposite direction, no one (except Andres) even saw him move. He stalked the guard until he reached the end of the hallway. Then, as the guard began to cough and gag, Gregorex slugged him in the side of the head and knocked him to the floor. Thankfully, the other guard was coughing so hard that he never heard what was happening at the other end of the hallway. Gregorex quickly grabbed the guard’s spear and conked him in the head one more time with the butt end of it, just to make sure he was unconscious. Then, at the appointed time, he made an about face and started to march down the hallway.

Gregorex was terrified that the other guard would notice that someone different was marching down the hallway. But he needn’t have worried. The halls were only dimly lit, so it was impossible to see facial features unless you were very close. And not only that, the other guard’s face was pretty well swollen up from all the beatings he had taken. His eyes were so black and blue that he could hardly see, anyway.

After what seemed like an eternity, Gregorex met the other guard at the halfway point. Rather than just stand and take the punch from his adversary, Gregorex stepped to the side to avoid the blow, which was aimed for his chest. Then he quickly stepped back and launched an uppercut at the guard’s jaw. The guard’s feet lifted up off the ground, and he fell flat on his back. Gregorex then took the end of his spear and once again rammed it against his foe’s forehead. The unsuspecting rube quickly descended into unconsciousness.

Andres vaulted to his feet. “You did it, Gregorex!” he exclaimed. “Now let’s get out of here!”

“Not so fast,” Gregorex replied. “Let’s think about this for a minute. Here these guards are, lying on the floor. They have their dumb little uniforms on, while we just look like a couple of prisoners. We ought to change clothes--it’ll help our escape.” Andres nodded his head. He felt bad that he hadn’t thought of it himself.

The guard that lay in the middle of the hallway was the first victim. While Andres held his feet, Gregorex pulled off his robe and put it on himself. Then they went down to the end of the hallway where the other guard lay. While Gregorex pulled off the robe, the guard stirred slightly. Andres felt like jumping out of his skin, but Gregorex remained calm. He whispered to the waking man, “Do you feel all right?”

“I’ve got a bit of a headache,” grumbled the guard, struggling to open his eyes.

“Well, let me help you take care of that,” replied Gregorex. He then punched the guard in the temple. The guard became unconscious once again, and the uniform was promptly removed.

Gregorex helped Andres slide the robe on. It was kind of big, and that drove Andres crazy. He hated clothes that didn’t fit very well. “This thing is too long!” he grumbled. “I’m going to trip on it all the time!”

Gregorex paused and turned to his fellow escapee. “Well excuse me, poor Prince Andres,” he replied. “If you’ll give me just a few moments, I’ll see if I can find the royal tailor to help hem your garments and make them more comfortable. I’d hate for you to have to escape in something that didn’t fit properly. Is there anything else I can get for you while I’m out? Can I get you some tea, perhaps? Would you like sugar in it?”

“Shut up, Gregorex,” Andres mumbled under his breath. Gregorex heard it, but he chose to ignore it. He knew that his message had gotten through.

But now, Gregorex worried about leaving the guards lying in the middle of the floor. “What are we going to do with these guys?” he asked rhetorically. “If we just leave ‘em here, they’ll wake up and chase us down in just a few minutes. And we can’t tie ‘em up, because we don’t have any rope.”

Andres piped up and said, “Oh, Gregorex, why don’t you just wait here while I run to the rope shop!” But before his sarcasm could go too far, another voice emerged from the dungeon. “Just drag them in here!” it said.

“Who said that?” asked Gregorex, peering through the darkness.

“I’m over here!” said the voice from inside one of the cells.

Gregorex walked over to the place where he’d heard the voice. “How am I supposed to put these oafs in there?” he asked. “As far as I can tell, you are locked up!”

“And as far as I can tell, you’ve got the uniform of the prison guards on!” replied the voice. “If you’ll reach into the pockets, you’ll find some keyes. That is how you’ll put those oafs in here.”

Gregorex grimaced as he reached into his pocket and indeed realized that he had the keys to the prison cells. He grabbed one of the keys and inserted it into the lock. “Lucky guess,” he mumbled to himself as he opened the lock. The door opened, and the prisoner gave Gregorex a hug.

Gregorex stepped back and looked over the newly-freed captive. The man was fairly short, but he looked as strong as an ox. His face was covered with hair, and his chest stuck out well beyond his slender stomach. As Andres stared at him, he thought he looked like a miniature upside-down pyramid with a mop lying on top.

“What’s your name?” asked Andres.

“My name is Legs,” replied the prisoner, “ and I can’t thank you enough for getting me out of there.” He then ran to the end of the hallway and started dragging the unconscious guard into the cell. When he completed that task, he ripped off a piece of clothing and wrapped it around the guard’s mouth, making a gag. “We don’t need this knucklehead making any noises when he wakes up,” he said.

Gregorex did the same to the guard that lay in the middle of the hallway. After the two guards were securely gagged and lying in the cell, the three former prisoners stepped out into the hallway and shut and locked the door.

Before they started to walk away, another nagging question had to escape from Andres’ brain. “Excuse me,” he said, “but why in the world is your name ‘Legs’. You’re not exactly, uh...super-duper tall.”

Gregorex groaned. “Didn’t your mama ever teach you that some questions are just too dumb to ask?” he said.

“It’s all right,” replied Legs. “I get asked that question all the time. Well, at least, I used to get asked that question all the time, before I became a miserable prisoner. The reason is because my arms are as big as legs.” He then flexed his muscles. Andres marveled at the man’s biceps. He figured that about five or six of his arms could fit inside of just one of Leg’s arms. The man’s upper arms were the size of tree trunks.

However, before the trio could begin their escape, they heard footsteps off in the distance. The longer they paused, the louder the foosteps became. The prisoners froze. “They are coming right towards us,” muttered Gregorex.

“Yep, but from the sounds of it, there is only one person coming--and there are three of us,” replied Legs. “Wait for my signal. When I yell ‘move!’, that is our signal to attack. And not a moment before. Understand?” Gregorex and Andres just nodded. Legs was taking charge, and the other two were glad to follow.

Moments later, a figure emerged into the hallway. To Andres, the figure looked strangely familiar, though the lighting wasn’t good enough for him to be sure of exactly who it was. After the figure made about two steps in their direction, Legs sprung into action. He leaped to his feet and ran right at the approaching man. But instead of signaling for the others to come forward, he abruptly stopped short and just stared at the figure. Then--much to Andres’ surprise--the two men embraced. He saw the other man hand a bundle and a piece of paper to Legs. Then the man kissed Legs on the forehead, turned around, and quickly disappeared. Before coming back to Gregorex and Andres, Legs ripped open the bundle and put on the clothing that it contained. He then made a motion with his arm to signal Gregorex and Andres to come forward.

When Andres reached Legs, he saw that he now wore a guard’s uniform as well. But just as he started to open his mouth to ask a question, Legs said, “I’ll explain everything later. For now, we’re all dressed as guards and we need to make our way out of here.” He then held up the piece of paper that the mysterious man had handed to him. “Let’s find a torch and take a look at this map,” he said. “We don’t have much time to get out of here! We have a mission to accomplish!”